Saturday, April 06, 2024

CAPTAIN FREDERICK WILLIAM PAGE-ROBERTS

 CAPTAIN  FREDERICK WILLIAM PAGE-ROBERTS




In remembering people of interest that I have met during my life, first comes my father, Captain F.W. Page-Roberts.


He was the son of the Reverend F. Page-Roberts, vicar to the Duke of Wellington and President of the National Rose Society (he budded some two thousand roses a year and had one of the most famous roses of its day (1920s) named after him).


He went to Marlborough College, then to Wye Agricultural College and then to Egypt (then our Protectorate) to, I believe, show the Egyptions how to irrigate the desert with Nile water.


He was an athlete, scratch golfer, played cricket for his county (Berkshire) and  excelled at tennis.


He played the saxophone and drums in the local jazz band.


When in Egypt, the First World War was imminent, and with his ability to read and speak Arabic, he returned to England to join his regiment (1st/4th Hampshires). As a Territorial, he trained on Salisbury Plain (his uncle was the Dean of Salisbury), and was shipped to India as a Captain and put  in charge of Indian soldiers.


Temporarily debilitated through sunstroke, he missed a major skirmish where his friend (the Colonel of his regiment) and many of his comrades were killed by the Turks (fighting on Germany’s side for the Ottoman Empire). 


Conditions were horrific, being desert in extreme heat and nights of freezing cold, and often, in his case, in the mosquito-infested shallow marshlands that was home to those thought more dangerous than the Turks, the Marsh Arabs.


Our relief Army had advanced to relieve our forward troops who,  in advancing towards Baghdad, had been beseiged in a bend of the river Tigris at Kut. To prevent the force from reaching Kut, the Turks had dug excellent defensive positions at Hanna.


The British General aimed to charge the Turkish lines through early morning mist, but it rose unexpectedly and he did not change his mind. His troops now had no cover.


Exposed to withering Turkish gunfire, Freddy Page-Roberts charged with his men, revolver in one hand and, sword in the other, and was shot in the thigh.



Building a “coffin” of mud as protection from Turkish bullets, he lay in a pool of water and blood for, I believe, two days in daytime desert heat and sub-zero temperature at night.


When bodies were being collected for burial, he was found to be alive. He was then taken from the battlefield to a Tigris hospital boat in an unsprung cart from which he fell several times and was then transported back down the Tigris and on to England.


On crutches, still in wartime, he married Evelyn Hewitt (daughter of Sir Frederick and Lady Hewitt) at St George’s, Hanover Square, London. Outside the church, sheets of thin tissue paper were handed out to the onlookers with the names of the newly-married couple printed on them, surrounded by the flags of Britain’s allies.  


With a foot held up with a spring attached to a colar around his leg, his athletic days were over.


Madame Curie had just invented radium, then thought of as a cure-all. He took it in his quest to regain fitness and died from its radiation.




                                                 




   



Saturday, March 16, 2024

A Special Austin

 



For one reason or another I needed a car after I had been invalided out of the RAF. My brother, Nigel, an engineer, knew of someone in a hamlet near Southampton who made up cars from second hand and new bits. 


My requirements were simple. It had to be soft-topped, sporty, simple and unique. Then, for a modest sum, I took possession of a little Austin sports car that was crab-tracked with an outside exhaust that would burn the unwary. 


Baby Austins in those days had very poor brakes and didn’t go very fast. But mine was fun and where ever I went, smart or otherwise, it commanded attention. For an ex-RAF pilot with modest funds at his disposal, it was a godsend.


I had been invited to a smart weekend in Norfolk. So off I trotted in my little car. A rather slow cattle lorry was hindering my progress north east. 


As I was in the middle of overtaking this goliath, a cow, standing athwartships decided to relieve herself. Open-sided, the liquid poured from the truck to soak me in cow’s urine. We all enjoyed the tale in Norfolk and fortunately I had taken other clothes.


On the way from my Council rooms to a wedding reception dinner party, a lamppost jumped out from the pavement to halt my progress. I left the car where it stood and continued with another guest who had just before been entertained in my rooms.


The time came to upgrade a bit, and the Austin became rather unstable at speed, and a bit dangerous.


I had joined an Austin 7 racing club and even the great Collin Chapman, founder of Lotus, was unable to find anything wrong with it.


So I sold it to a man în the city.


A while after, he contacted me by telephone and I feared for the worst.


After solving his simple question about the carburattor, I asked him how fast he had taken it. I have  forgotten the answer but it was very slow and quite safe. 








Monday, February 19, 2024

Past Country Life for Children



I’m sure to have written in the past on several aspects of what will follow.  I apologise for it. But putting it all together will, hopefully, give a rough idea of what my country-bred childhood was like during the late 1920s to early 1930s. Here goes with memories - if a bit haphazardly chosen. 


The pleasures of my youth at Sawyer’s Lands in Silchester were miriad and at a time when one did not expect others to give much of their time for us. We were free to come and go more or less as we pleased. Self-sufficiency was quite normal and one’s initiative, was encouraged. But if we misbehaved Nigel and I were punished by beatings with the back of a clothes brush - Nigel rather more than me as I was my father’s favourite. However, I deserved a beating after using scissors to trim the bristles on my father’s hairbrush. 


At some 14 years old I was at one time looking after myself during school holidays because my father had died and my mother was too busy in London working for us to survive. Then all I had learned about feeding myself, shooting for the pot, and local  friendships fell into place.


Aeroplanes in those formative years of flight where very important for my brother Nigel, and me. There was the King’s Cup for handicapped (mostly) biplanes that sometimes flew so low over our house that we could see the pilots clearly. The Schneider Trophy was a speed competition for seaplanes (with floats) over the Solent that we went to view, and Alan Cobham’s Flying Circus, that based itself in a rented farmer’s field, and at which we had our first taste of really flying in an aeroplane. It was magic. 


Then there was a ‘flip’ over London from Croydon Airfield (London’s greenfield airport) in a Klemm Bat, which, when I was 7 years old was one of the many instances that gave me a taste for flying. We were always making models to scale and to fly. One of the latter, a Frog, a monoplane powered by elastic bands, was one of the most sophisticated to fly. 

Kingsford Smith, the great Australian aviator, was to visit and land in our field, but didn’t, due to more “corporate” pleasures. But I did meet him later at Croydon. 


For the house (before refrigeration) we gathered mushrooms (mainly for breakfast and eaten with tomatoes), blackberries blueberries and fruit of all kinds for bottling in Kilner jars to feed us in winter time.

With a chicken farm we ate chickens and eggs a lot, with roast chicken being our choice when asked what we wanted to eat on our birthdays. Our dog Ben would help my father select birds and hold them down with his paw until my father could pick them up. 

We would snare rabbits and acquire game to hang in our larder to eat when high enough. Stilton cheese was also eaten over-rype by today’s standards. 


My rather grand grandmother, of little known origins, once volunteered to clean, skin and cut up a rabbit and rolled up her sleeves to do so. This indicated that she might have been a butcher’s daughter in Ireland. She might also have been a hairdresser. 


My father, an athlete who had played cricket for Berkshire but badly wounded in the First World War, was a bit of a health freak, so crates of oranges featured prominently in the larder. An aluminium pressure cooker that looked like a large Mill’s bomb was used for boiling cabbage overnight. The resultant liquid smelled horrible but my father thought it was very healthy to drink. 

For him, lavatory routine was very important for us children.  We had to “try hard” even if we had not eaten anything for days due to illness. 


Good manners were also very important to him. We would open doors for grownups allowing ladies to go through first. I think we rather overdid it. But it was much appreciated. We had to write “thank you” notes for any gift or visit. I still do. 


My father took great interest in nature and taught us about bird, animal and insect recognition. Our garden was special to him so we were virtually self supporting with fruit and vegetables. When my father had grown some giant gooseberries and was going to show them at the local fete, gypsies broke into our garden at night and stole the lot. Of course we contacted the local policeman who was unable to help, but for every time we called on his services he would say “it’s not good enough” so his nickname to us was always “not good enough”. 

I was the proud owner of a garden gun that fired .2 2 bore cartridges. One day when my parents were out, two partridges walked in our kitchen garden. Miraculously I shot them both with one cartridge. When my parents came home they were shocked instead of full of praise because shooting game then was out of season. This was not a thing to do in country society. I think we had to bury the partridges as to shoot them at that time of year really was “not good enough”. 



                                                        





We had a lovely tennis court that was free of weeds. After we had weeded it, a monetary prize would be given to the child who found any weed that might have been missed.  


As for other entertainments my father played the saxophone and drums in the local jazz band, so we gave dances on our sprung dance floor. Both of my parents played bridge with local families. I was taken along, and to keep me happy was sometimes given marron glacé when I would much rather have had a simple Mars bar. 

In summer, at our tennis parties, we provided home made lemonade to drink. We were relatively poor as when the local brass band came to play Christmas carols in our drive we had no money to give them, which made my mother cry. We may have given them chickens or eggs. 


We, as children, had access to most houses as all were welcome and few doors locked. My sister June once had to deliver two chickens from our farm for a dinner party at the Firth’s (friends and neighbours). Being used to free access she delivered them to the front door of their house. The butler, Sherrard, told her to deliver them to the servants’ entrance. She never forgot it.

Harry Firth enjoyed a good glass. Unexpectedly one day he chose to visit his cellar and found there Sherrard drinking his favourite port out of a tea cup. He sacked Sherrard on the spot, not for drinking his favourite port, but for drinking it out of a tea cup.


If lemonade was the drink for tennis, my own preference was to consume the dregs from wine bottles left out for the wine merchant to collect and recycle. These tipples must have given me a good start to a later life as weekly wine correspondent for our local newspaper and authorship of several books on the subject. 


We used country recipes for country matters. To kill aphids etc, it was with nicotene spray made from cigarette butts soaked in water. Tomatoes were nourished with cow dung dissolved in water. Iodine was applied for all cuts and hurt like mad. Butter was applied for all burns (which I do to this day with success). Dock leaves were rubbed on to nettle stings. Butterflies were killed for the collection in a jar of laurel leaves.  When collecting bird’s eggs, we were always sure to leave some in the nest. We would blow them for our collections, the method being, a hole was made in the shell and a hollow tube with a curved end used through which air was blown into the egg to empty it. 


Connie, the maid, who was a wonderful cakemaker, and who allowed us children to lick out the bowls, always referred to my father as “The Captain”.  Her lover drove the local steamroller, and would leave his bicycle in a hedge at the bottom of the drive. He would crawl into her downstairs bedroom through a very small window by the back door, when a large window beckoned around the corner nearby at the front of the house. 

The roads were cared for by a lengthman. Our local one was a friend of mine and sometimes I would share his bread, cheese, raw onion, and cold tea -  much to my parents’ displeasure. 


We would collect beer from (really, a Mr Beer) in a jug at a penny a pint from the “Crown” village pub. We would collect bread from our baker (nearly every village had its local baker). Ours baked his bread in an oven in which tied faggots had been burned. Other people’s bread somehow always tasted better than ours. The muffin man would come to our village and ring his bell, balancing on his head a tray of muffins and crumpets. 


The local carpenter would take me fishing for chubb at a tributary of the Avon river. 

There were two local water mills at Aldermaston and Burfield where we would cycle for a swim in summer time. At one there was a notice that said: “Please pay before you bathe or else you will be…..”  the rest of the notice board had been broken off, so we never knew how we would have been punished had we not paid. At Burfield Mill there was a tank of eels - which were presumably for sale. 


With the Reverend John Barker taking over from my grandfather as the Duke of Wellington’s private vicar at Stratfield Saye, the lovely Georgian vicarage he lived in became our second home with its occasional balls, a river to swim in (5 shillings reward for our first swim across), trees for shooting pigeons and, for me, being made a Brownie as my aunt was their “Chief” or something. Next to where the Brownies met was a small museum of local artifacts - the kind that country gentlemen liked to have. Another at Silchester, run by Colonel Karslake, who was also Mayor of Paddington, held items that were related to the Roman town of Calleva Atrebatum (Silchester). 


Being so close to the Roman town we would often find Roman coins. They were just thrown into a hamper, which was eventually destroyed in a fire. 


Although most of the town’s Roman wall had disintegrated, parts had been restored by archeologists. It was massive, and clearly kept its inhabitants, travellers and merchants safe from tribal attacks. 


The town’s amphitheatre had not yet been excavated and was the farmer’s duck pond. 


At the end of our field was a totally overgrown fortification outside the Roman wall that must have been pre-Roman. We called it the fosse. It was completely wild - and might have been unknown. 


Our local doctor, Dr Daley, who made his medicines in a shed in his garden, ministered to us and never charged as my grandfather had got him out of some scrape or other when they were both at Cambridge.  For me, I learned a little about a girl’s anatomy as my cousin Cherry and I liked to play doctors. 


As my father was so keen on sport and had played cricket for his County, he needed to listen to the Test Match in Australia. With the combination of an areal from the house to a nearby tree, and a huge dry battery combined with a wet one, charged by the Firth’s electricity-generating fly wheeled machine with floor batteries, we were able to reach Australia through a PYE wireless containing glowing valves in the shape of bulbs. It was sometimes my job to lug these batteries across the field that divided our properties. 


Our cars were generally hand-me-downs from the Smithers family, our rich relations. Our favourite being a bull nosed Morris that we occasionally had to push up hills. 


A field beyond the Crown pub was the village cricket field. Watching a match there meant harvesting and eating wild strawberries on its perimeter and catching minnows in a stream nearby.


We almost lived on our bicycles cycling everywhere. Light for cycling at night was provided by carbide lamps. To work these, water dripped on carbide to create acetylene gas which was lit by a match.  


Within cycle reach were two farms where cheese was made. The one at Sherfield made a glowingly yellow cheddar type cheese, and the other a camembert lookalike coated in straw. 


Heating for the winter was by open fires, and beds warmed by hot water bottles.  Light for upstairs was provided by candles or torches.


Lighting for the house downstairs was by gas, made in a lovely, 

clicking green machine into which we poured petrol. Power to push the resulting gas through to the house in copper tubes was by a large weight (concrete) hanging from a tall tree.

The gas mantles on brackets in the house each had to be lit by a match. 


Water was pumped from a well in the garden to a tank beneath the roof of the house by a Swift car engine or, when we were unable to start it (often) by taking turns at a hand pump in the kitchen. This was next to the blackened range that was used for heating water for the baths (meager)  and cooking for the house.  


Climbing trees was for me a great pleasure, as was making tree houses. These climbing skills were especially useful when I was at prep school where the strict and tough regime had been established to make us boys fit to run the Empire. Our headmaster was sadistic, making any excuse to beat us. Certainly my bottom was often decorated with parallel welts of red and blue. An escape   from this regime was provided for me in the form of a crow’s nest atop a tall pine tree. There I could climb to isolation and to enjoy the view of the Needles off the Isle of Wight and large ships coming and going on the Solent.  

 

If the school was to make us able to run the Empire, it certainly failed in my case. 


The war came. My childhood was over. 

Friday, January 12, 2024

A Eureka moment in the garden


Mistletoe, an evergreen parasite, is steeped in the history of folklore, magic, superstition, ritual, religion, myth, the seasons, regeneration, growth, and much else.


With me, it was, since childhood, an evergreen branch or two, often bearing white berries, and something that was hung in a doorway to encourage kissing at Christmas time. We bought ours, but I wanted to grow it myself. So I tried on apple trees (its favourite host) and I failed. And I have continued in life to try, try, and try again - failing each time.


In 2008, son Pete gave us an apple tree in a pot, which we placed, still in its pot, in front of the northern-facing brick wall of our London garden. Now, here was my chance once more to grow mistletoe. So in the winter of 2008 I tried my luck by pressing some sticky white misletoe berries into the junctures of spur and trunk, employing several methods of attachment and protection. No luck. So I tried the same the next year (2009). Still no luck, and gave up. Then in March 2010 I found a bunch of dried mistletoe that someone had thrown onto a rubbish skip. Among its branches were plenty of now brown and shrivelled berry/seeds. So I tried these, tying them in with string, coating this with rubber solution and covering the “sowings” with earth. You could then hardly see my surgical efforts with their protective dressing. Still no luck. I gave up again. But now came my eureka moment. In 2013 (5 years after my first attempt with fresh seeds) a small mistletoe sprout pushed out from beneath the bark. I had done it - at long last.  


A year later another sprout from another planted seed appeared. And the next year even another - all creating their own nourishment through photosynthesis and using only sap from beneath the bark of their parent host for survival. 


Even now, when a new mistletoe sprout pushes out from the swelling of apple tree bark, fourteen years since I embarked on this mistletoe saga, I hardly bother about it. Well, I am still rather pleased that I have grown mistletoe in the end.

Tuesday, November 07, 2023

A Car for all Seasons and Adventures

 


In 1952 I was working in the theatre, painting scenery at the Royal Opera House, designing children’s television at Alexandra Palace in black and white, touring shows and the scenery for an ice show that paid handsomely, as well as designing and painting scenery for weekly reperatory at various provincial theatres. 


It was all extremely hard work and poorly paid, except for that ice show in London were I painted flats and backdrops on the ice, wearing my RAF flying boots from wartime to keep my feet warm.


The theatre was my life and I lived in two council rooms by the 

steam-engined railway tracks at Victoria Station. It was the time of pea soup fogs and where heating was by burning coal, the smoke from which even thickened the fogs. 


This was an unhealthy time in which to live, especially for me who had suffered two bouts of lung TB and needed to visit a hospital or doctor each week or two with an artificial pneumothorax. This needed a needle shoved into the side of my chest between two ribs to allow atmospheric air pressure to fill a created cavity between my right lung and rib cage.


Despite all this I wanted to travel around Europe to get ideas for my theatre work and do as had been done in the 18th century’s Grand Tours. In my case I had to also seek out the occasional visit where I could have my lung/air dealt with.


For this I needed transport, a vehicle in which I could sleep and eat, drink, cook and travel. 


I managed to buy an old Ford 8 flat-back builder’s van that had seen better days. But it had the required mechanical basics, an eight horsepower engine, four wheels and a strong chassis. 


I had spare time, mainly from that ice show, a list of my requirements and a  certain ability to put them into effect. 


Structurally I would have to open up the back of the cab and incorporate the driving part with the flat back to make space for stretching out at night. Then there would have to be a cover to keep out noxious elements and have modest proof against theft. This was done by bending and fixing three-ply wood with rivets. The back would be of canvas and a hinged section.   So far so good. It was taking shape - if rather an odd one. The combined driving and passenger bench seat was of covered foam rubber with the front of it raised so that one’s body sank into it and knees were raised. It was extremely comfortable - ideal for a long journey, sometimes certainly to be over rough country roads/tracks.


There would for sure be mosquitoes to fend off. So a net was made to fit.


The weather abroad would be hot, so extra ventilation was necessary. This took the form of two nautical air scoops attached to the cab roof so that air could be scooped in to cool both driver and passanger. If passing through a storm these scoops could be reversed and, if necessary, stopped off with large corks.


A horn would be of vital importance, so I found one that worked, if I recall correctly, through the carburetta venturi, It was unusually loud and had been manifactured to be  part of an international sized truck.


With war surplus still around and available I acquired an aircraft altimetre to add to the van’s basic dials. This not only would tell me the height of mountains traversed but also work as a barometre to forecast weather conditions. A simple unswung compass completed my instrument panel.


Four new Michelin tyres were added.


Not having experienced the surface of continental roads after wartime neglect, I was prepared for enormous potholes, so that these tyres would probably hit the wheel arches at the rear and give off squeals and the smell of hot rubber. 


After a couple of brushed coats of British racing green paint I was off to be lifted aboard the “Dinard” by crane at Folkestone harbour en route for Boulogne and adventure.